Not the place for a eulogy, but here it is

Time went by.  We changed, I changed.  Things change.  

That's what I like to tell myself.  

But I loved you.  I think I did.

You were such a big part of my life then.

I loved the way you made me feel.

Worthy.

Your words were like strands holding me up

When I wanted to fall

Never did I feel that before.

You helped me through so much.

You told me you loved me.

And I believed you did.

But love was not ours.

We both knew.  I think.

There was a forever promise before God.

It was never meant to be and that was okay.

Love is not always meant to be.

It felt cruel in the end.

If I hurt you, I'm sorry.

But I know you were where you were meant to be

In the end.

So many times I wanted to call.

But was afraid of the stirring it might awaken.

So I let it sleep

But you played in my mind in time lost.

Now forgotten.

I like to think that you really loved me too

That "love" was borne in empathy for another soul,

Hurting with a cry that only you could hear.

Only you responded to the murmur.

For this, my soul thanks you.

I am so moved by your passing.

Somehow, I don't have words to adequately express

my gratitude.

I carry you with me in my scars, memories.

Time cannot take that.

Parts I've forgotten, parts I remember

You were a beacon, a light

in my time of trouble.

I will always remember.

The rhythm of my soul

Oh, to find the rhythm of my soul again

In Your words, In Your care

Under Your wings

Everything You created have rhythm and time

The restless sea, crashing waves

The waxing waning moon, deliriously moving through time

If time exists

The relentless wind

Day, night, midnight, noon

Our ins and outs.

Somehow, through all this confusion

The pounding of the world

The signals of noise and distractions

And business

Through fear

All that fear

I lost mine

Oh, to find the rhythm of my soul again

In Your will

Your way, Lord.

Less of me, more of You.

Rant

Negativity is a choice.  As is being positive.  Choices.  We all have them.  Make good ones, or at least try to.  Don't be a slave to negative emotions.

It's so easy to sink into the negativity and utter cataclysm around us.  The world is raging and it's negative vibe is contagious.  There is no more good news, only news of death, desperation, greed, violence, destruction, terrorism, poverty, selfishness - you name it.  It is so easy to buy into the mass media hype and sink into the despair it brings.  The depression, the anxiety, the anger, the fear.  Filling ourselves up with news of the terror and sadness around us.  It abounds and it grows daily.  I see it everywhere.  We are consumed by this vortex of evil.

I'm not saying turn a blind eye, but don't be consumed.  Don't make the bad news all you read.  It might consume you and you yourself will become bad news.  We become and reflect what we fill ourselves with and what we surround ourselves with.

I truly believe with my heart and soul that there is much beauty to be found in this world, even if we don't read it in the newspapers.  There are people with kind hearts and pure intentions, carers, givers, the hopeful.  If you have a choice, be one of the latter.  Be one who brings a little bit of hope and sunshine, joy and grace to others.

And stop raining on other people's parades.
As I said, it's a choice.

Rant done.

Life's journey

"Life is a journey

that must be traveled

no matter

how bad the road or accommodation"

Never let a stumble in the road be the end of your journey...