Being the Beloved

"Over the years, I have come to realize that the greatest trap in our life is not success, popularity, or power, but self-rejection.  Success, popularity, and power can indeed present a great temptation, but their seductive quality often comes from the way they are part of the much larger temptation to self-rejection.  When we have come to believe in the voices that call us worthless and unlovable, then success, popularity and power are easily perceived as attractive solutions.  The real trap, however, is self-rejection.  As soon as someone accuses me or criticizes me, as soon as I am rejected, left alone, or abandoned, I find myself thinking, "Well, that proves once again that I am a nobody."... My dark side says "I am no good...  I deserve to be pushed aside, forgotten, rejected and abandoned".  Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the "Beloved."  Being the Beloved constitutes the core truth of our existence."

- Henri J.M. Nouwen

What one feels

"One can be the master of what one does, but never of what one feels."

- Gustave Flaubert

Happy New Year

And so this last day of the year 2015 arrived, and in Swakopmund, it's a cloudy dreary day with rough seas and the promise of rain in the clouds.  As I reflect on the year it has been, I can see that I have been embroiled in many stormy waters but, with God's grace, I have survived the all the turmoil and emotional roller coasters of missing home, missing family and just missing being close to loved ones far away. 

 I also know that I could not have had a happier and more blessed year in 2015. My family's been blessed with health and happiness and my children are thriving in our new home.  We are living in one of the most beautiful countries in the world and have so much to be thankful for. 

So, looking forward, to all the dear family, friends and fellow wanderers, travelers and bloggers out there:

I hope you all have a hearty, happy and healthy 2016 with no more stormy waters than what you are able to handle.  

Happy New Year!  

Let's be romantic

"Let's be romantic and dance in the rain.  I'll prove my feelings for you by bringing an umbrella, because I'm drowning in my love for you."

- Jarod Kintz

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Bewildered

"When you're lost in those woods, it sometimes takes you a while to realize that you are lost.  For the longest time, you can convince yourself that you've just wandered off the path, that you'll find your way back to the trailhead any moment now.  Then night falls again and again, and you still have no idea where you are, and it's time to admit that you have bewildered yourself so far off the path that you don't even know from which direction the sun rises anymore."

- Elizabeth Gilbert

Loneliness

"Sometimes loneliness makes the loudest noise."

- Aaron Ben-e'ev

Weary eyes

In October 2015, we took a camping trip to Spitzkoppe, one of the most picturesque and beautiful places in Namibia.  We spent an unforgettable evening under the stars.  On our way back, I couldn't help noticing how thin the cattle alongside the road were.  

In this past week, about 20mm of rain fell in the region, turning the arid landscape into a lush landscape with waterfalls and rock pools.  How I wish I could be there to see it!  I hope to see these ladies nourished and healthy and not looking so desperately thin.  In this photo, even their eyes seamed weary and tired.  What a difference the rain makes, and what a true blessing it is for all nature and creatures.  

Don't miss them...

There's a sunrise and a sunset every single day, and they're absolutely free. 

 Don't miss so many of them.

So let me be

"She had been defeated by herself alone, and the sadness of it left a dark shadow in her heart.  It further sapped her confidence and left her ever more withdrawn, ever more capable of suppressing her feelings.  Like her roughened hands, her sensitivity was slowly being hardened, and she drew relief from numbness creeping through her."

- Yo Yo

Ghost Tide

I haven't had enough desert yet

"Shall I run back into the desert... and stay there until the devil has passed out of me and I am fit to meet humankind again without driving it to despair at the first look?  I haven't had enough desert yet."

- Saul Bellow

Henderson the Rain King

Mindfulness

In pursuit of a mindful life, I am trying to let my thoughts go.  Wherever they want.  I want to know what consumes me.  It's interesting to see where they take me.  Where do your thoughts take you when you let them go?  

Mine are consumed by the beauty of Namibia... 

The photographs I still want to take... 

Where I still want to travel to...

What I want to do when I have the time...

How I miss my family back home...

My family here, their happiness...

So many things.

And so I drift on...

Freedom

"In the desert I had found a freedom unattainable in civilization;

a life unhampered by possessions,

since everything that was not a necessity was an encumbrance.

I had found too, a comradeship inherent in the circumstances,

and the belief that tranquility was to be found there."

-Wilfred Thesiger

The sound of the Sea

"I felt once more how simple and frugal a thing is happiness: a glass of wine, a roast chestnut, a wretched little brazier, the sound of the sea. Nothing else."

-Nikos Kazantzakis

Zorba the Greek

Quiet

"Have you ever heard the wonderful silence just before the dawn?  Or the quiet and calm just as a storm ends?  Or perhaps you know the silence when you haven't the answer to a question you've been asked, or the hush of a country road at night, or the expectant pause of a room full of people when someone is just about to speak, or, most beautiful of all, the moment after the door closes and you're alone in the whole house?  Each one is different, you know, and all very beautiful if you listen carefully."

- Norton Juster

The Phantom Tollbooth 

Stories

"You have no control over how your story begins or ends. But by now, you should know that all things have an ending. Every spark returns to darkness. Every sound returns to silence. Every flower returns to sleep with the earth. The journey of the sun and moon is predictable. But yours, is your ultimate art."

- Suzy Kassem

Rise Up and Salute the Sun: The Writings of Suzy Kassem

Clouds

"Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm,

but to add colour to my sunset sky."

 - Rabindranath Tagore

Stray Birds

Holding on

"And life is what we make of it.

Always has been, always will be."

- Grandma Moses

It's incredibly easy to become despondent when things do not go our way or work out as we planned. It's easy to give in to our own negative thoughts and to affirm that, yes, there is very little good left in this world.  It's hard to hold onto hope when we see and hear so little of what's good in this world.  

But this is the essence of character building.  It's an uncomfortable process, but hopefully, in me, as I go through this unsettling process, it will draw in me courage, hope and perspective.  In this world, we will perhaps never have it easy, but comfort comes from knowing that the One I serve have overcome this world and by His grace, I will too... 

World at your feet

Once, this was a scene in turmoil, a world turned upside down...  A great flood passed through here, the evidence is still there.  How beautifully preserved, right?   

Portrait

Lord, I surrender

Lord, I surrender.

Have YOUR way with me

and my family.

This photograph was taken sitting on the Blutkopje, looking back west towards the ocean.  The day was very hot with only a few airy clouds floating around.  The sun was just starting to set over our campsite when we spotted this beautiful rainbow in the clouds.  Rainbows, for us, are very special. They are a reminder of a promise from our Creator.  The rainbow brings us great hope and comfort...

Lord, please give us eyes to "see" beyond just the confines of this earthly world and its sufferings. Please keep us in Your will and show us the way.  You are our only hope in life and beyond. We surrender.

  

Consolationis Philosophiae

"Nothing is miserable unless you think it so;

conversely,

every lot is happy if you are content with it."

- Ancius Manlius Severinus Boethius

Consolationis Philosophiae

This photograph was taken on a very windy day in the dune belt between Walvis Bay and Swakopmund, Namibia.  A curious and unusual scene in that a leaking pipeline caused a wild green patch of bamboo to shoot up in a normally desolate area with little vegetation.  In front, you can see white deposits of salt crystals and in the back, the magnificent dunes of the Namib.  

Pursuit of Happiness

"Happiness in this world, when it comes, comes incidentally.  

Make it the object of pursuit, and it leads us on a wild-goose chase, and it is never attained.  

Follow some other object, and very possibly we may find that we have caught happiness without dreaming of it."

- Nathaniel Hawthorne

American Notebooks

The Moon landscape, outside Swakopmund is a impressive dreamy landscape that no photograph can ever truly reflect the beauty and splendour of.  It's a scene that takes your breath away...

The world

"The world is a comedy 

to those that think,

a tragedy to those

that feel"

- Horace Walpole, 4th Earl of Oxford

Letter, 1776

Never forget

"May I never forget

on my best day,

that I still need God as desperately

as I did on my worst day."

Nightfall

"I wish I could show you

when you are lonely or in the darkness

the astonishing light

of your own being"

- Hafiz

This photograph is of the 1905 Jetty in Swakopmund just after nightfall. I was a glorious day and I just kept wandering around here looking out to the sea and taking photographs.  The sky remained beautiful for a long time after the sun had set. I started walking back to my car but turned around for a final shot and this was the result.

It is my favourite.

No soul

"Understand me.

I do not like an ordinary world.

I have my madness,

I live in another dimension

and

I do not have time for things that have no soul."

- Charles Bukowski

So much to say

Looking out the window

All day long, your head busy

Soul restless

Feeling completely discontent

So much to say...

But try to explain

Or try to write it down 

All of it's just gone.

Maybe that's it then; 

Nothing to say.

Exploring

"I can speak to my soul

only

when the two of us are off exploring deserts

or cities or mountains or roads"

- Paul Coelho

Standing Tall

"I stand tall

like a tree upon this earth

while the stories of 

fear and false beliefs

flow past me 

like leaves being carried in the wind..."

- e.g. wise

Close

"Stay close to anything

that makes you glad 

you are alive."

-Hafiz

Rain

Last night it rained in the desert.  A very unusual phenomena.  The rain that fell last night were for us, a blessing.  We had just stepped outside the restaurant and were greeted by this delightful fresh soft shower of rain walking back to our car and we just soaked it in.  The smell of fallen rain is a most unforgettable smell and awakens senses.  We haven't experienced rain for such a long time and it was a reminder of home's rainy days.  It brought back many happy memories and we were feeling quite nostalgic.  It's so true - you don't know what you have until it's taken from you.  May we never take what we have for granted...

The photo is a side view of Rossing Mountain.  Most of the rain that fell last night were in this region.  Can't wait for the greenery to shoot up!

   

Out for a duck

Something pretty to offset yesterday's rant...

The birds were photographed at the pans near the salt works just outside of Swakopmund at Mile 6.  I love their colours.  These are Cape Teal ducks.  I still have to ID their little flying friend...

Rant

Negativity is a choice.  As is being positive.  Choices.  We all have them.  Make good ones, or at least try to.  Don't be a slave to negative emotions.

It's so easy to sink into the negativity and utter cataclysm around us.  The world is raging and it's negative vibe is contagious.  There is no more good news, only news of death, desperation, greed, violence, destruction, terrorism, poverty, selfishness - you name it.  It is so easy to buy into the mass media hype and sink into the despair it brings.  The depression, the anxiety, the anger, the fear.  Filling ourselves up with news of the terror and sadness around us.  It abounds and it grows daily.  I see it everywhere.  We are consumed by this vortex of evil.

I'm not saying turn a blind eye, but don't be consumed.  Don't make the bad news all you read.  It might consume you and you yourself will become bad news.  We become and reflect what we fill ourselves with and what we surround ourselves with.

I truly believe with my heart and soul that there is much beauty to be found in this world, even if we don't read it in the newspapers.  There are people with kind hearts and pure intentions, carers, givers, the hopeful.  If you have a choice, be one of the latter.  Be one who brings a little bit of hope and sunshine, joy and grace to others.

And stop raining on other people's parades.
As I said, it's a choice.

Rant done.

The 1905 Jetty

This is the structure that in history brought life and commerce to Swakopmund.  Over the years, it has suffered many revamps and closures, but today, it's a proud structure looming over the town.  And she is a photogenic beauty!

Life's journey

"Life is a journey

that must be traveled

no matter

how bad the road or accommodation"

Never let a stumble in the road be the end of your journey...

Sunsets

I delight in sunsets.  Always have.  For a few moments each day, the sky turns the most magnificent hues and colours, painted by a Master's Hand...

My life partner moved to Namibia six months before I moved.  We've been together for 11 years and we thoroughly enjoy spending time together, whether idle or busy.  He is my best friend, best lover, best carer and best provider - he is my everything and much of what I do revolves around him.  He is my North.  Naturally, being apart for such a long time was very hard for both of us.  Although working hard during the day, evenings were long and lonely.  

Some colleagues became aware that we were apart and started inviting him for sundowners after work.  But every night, when dusk came, this sweet man of mine would turn his back deliberately to the sunset, close his eyes and refuse to watch.  Every night for six months.  No amount of coaxing or teasing would entice him to turn around and look at the sun setting.  Why?  

Because he wanted to share his first sunset in this beautiful country with me.  Because he knows how special they are to me.  To him, it was a way of telling me he missed me and wished I was with him.

It was love.

On 04 December 2014, we shared our first Namibian sunset together.  And have been trying to catch them together ever since.

May we never spend another sunset apart.

I love you my Desert Wolf.   

So much unsaid...

I just love this photograph.  So many things are left unsaid, but the image is striking.

Perhaps because the individuals in the photograph is known to me?  

Or perhaps it is that I've caught them in a moment.  

A moment of laughter and joy.

A moment of forgetting the world.

A moment of demonstrated unconditional love from a father to his daughter.

This is love in it's purest form.

  

Contrasts

"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.

What is called resignation is confirmed desperation."

Henry David Thoreau

Walden

Broken Beauty

"We had shipwrecks in

our hearts

they wore torn-down sails

and sea-swept decks,

they were broken beauty,

but they lay between the fierce tides of our heartbeats

caught in the anchors 

that hid in each breath."  

Ariana

Why sing?

Majestic Flight

"In order to see birds

one must become 

part of the silence."

Robert Lynd

Tell me how tough your life is again...

A whole new world

"For every man the world is as fresh as it was at the first day,

and as full of untold novelties for him who has the eyes to see them."

Thomas Henry Huxley

A Liberal Education

Lord Byron said it best

"There is a pleasure in the pathless woods,

There is a rapture on the lonely shore,

There is society, where none intrudes,

By the deep sea and music in its roar:

I love not man the less, but Nature more...

To mingle with the Universe, and feel

What I can ne'er express, yet cannot conceal."

George Gordon (Noel), 6th Lord Byron

Childe Harold's Pilgrimage

I have never met a sunset I didn't like

Nobody notices when we leave...

Sand blowing in the Namib dunes

Rest

All things, to their created nature,  must rest once in a while.   

So rest.  

Forget the world, forget your cares, your worries, rest a bit.  

Put aside your normal routine, your rythms, your ways.  

Rest just a little.  

Be still, quiet down and listen to your silence.  

See what comes.  

See Who speaks to you.  

Can you?  

Or are you the noise in this world? 

  

On Time...

"Now, thieving Time, take what you must..

Yet leave, O exempt from plunder

My curiosity, my wonder!"

- Mark Anthony de Wolfe Howe

Thieving Time

Nothingness

When I first came here, I did not see anything.  The land looked bleak, desolate and dead.  The sea a dreary misty grey and it was cold.  What on earth did I get myself into?  I have always loved nature and it's greenery - the trees, the grass, the endless splendour of various blooming flowers and their invoking fragrances.  I loved the rain on a tin roof, heavy thunderstorms and lightning strikes.  The smell of earth just after the rain; no better smell in the world.  A world of sunshine and warm weather...

Then, I moved here.  Where there is nothing. Where there are only a few trees. Where it never rains.  Not even a little love shower.   All I saw was sand, rocks and a miserable grey sea.  

But now, I see...

And my heart will never be the same again as I have seen beauty beyond compare.

Right here in this nothingness.